He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
