Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
