I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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