This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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