This is not my ceiling
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize