So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize