Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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