She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
why is half of my head shaved?
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