Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
