How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize