I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
