we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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