Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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