Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
