i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
