how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Your dad touched me again.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
