Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
