got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
