I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
