This is not my ceiling
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
