I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
