But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
