Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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