if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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