On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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