Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
