Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it hurts more in the daytime
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
