i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
