I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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