Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
do herpes really smell.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
