your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
