butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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