You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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