you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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