He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
