so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
