Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize