but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
