so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
