Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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