I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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