Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
