The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
