HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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