I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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