Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.