Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."