when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
