Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.