I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
