Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she told me i tasted like america
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
