I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
