The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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