Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
