I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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