How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize