I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
