i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
