If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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