Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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