these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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