DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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